Monday, February 3, 2014

Propagation, Amplitude, Frequency, Zombies, and Velociraptors

Hello fellow classmates. If you are reading this, I take it you are taking the "Introduction to Music Production" course from CourseA. It's good you are here, very good, for we need to recruit as many resistance fighters for the coming war as possible.

I am Jon of the Shred, a psychedelic monk tasked with the mission of spreading knowledge of the psychedelic code in 2014 to prevent the EDMpocalpyse of 2017. In an effort to snuff out EDM's self-awareness before it has a chance to morph into an apocalyptic cybernetic sentience, I will now bestow upon you the cherished wisdom of propagation, amplitude, and frequency............................................
..........and zombies, and velociraptors.

And cyborgs.

So what have we learned? Let's review.
  • Propagation is sound moving through a medium.
  • Amplitude is the extent of the wave and it's wideness. Humans perceive this as loudness.
  • Frequency is the sense of pitch. How fast the wave moves dictates the frequency; the faster the frequency, the higher the pitch.
  • Timbre is the collection of sound from multiple frequencies.
  • A sine wave is a single frequency.
  • Zombies are stupid, and attracted to sound. Use this to your advantage and lead them into ambushes using your instrument of choice. (Personally, I use an electric guitar with a mini-amp strapped to my belt.)
  • If things are looking dire, use the secret guitar pitch that summons velociraptors. These noble creatures will make quick work of the undead.
  • After the apocalypse the government throws away their veil of secrecy and become completely transparent - they enslave all of humanity using cyborgs of their design as brutal, uncompromising enforcers. Use high pitched frequencies played at maximum speed to short-circuit their cyborg brains and remember to give a big middle finger to the establishment that wanted us enslaved and docile all along.

That's all I got time for right now, fellow classmates. But if you really want to help prevent the apocalypse, and do all you can do, and, and ya know, do your part, then you should probably buy one of my albums. It's the only way, aside from the 41 other ways.


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If you should strike me down I will become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.