Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Jenny and Spencer Should Fist Each Other On Live TV

Corny humor makes me want to punt babies through burning field goals. And that's because corny humor is always a wink, nudge, patronizing smile, and middle finger held behind the back. And the internet has no shortage of corny humor. All it takes is good timing, one lucky share, then out of no where everyone starts re-posting the same stupid thing while finger fucking themselves, giddy with unwarranted excitement, and then for a week you can't even go online or else you'll be reminded about that stupid viral thing everyone else is incessantly re-posting like it's the cure to cancer.

Enter "Jenny vs. Spencer"
Jenny and Spencer are both attention whoring faggots. Their little passive aggressive dry-erase slideshow exchange is one of the worst things I've ever seen. I'd rather watch an Eel Soup and 2 Girls 1 Cup person....than have to see this stupid fucking dry-erase slideshow battle again.

I'd say Jenny and Spencer are on the same level of faggot as those idiots taking selfies at wakes and funerals in front of the open caskets of their dead relatives. Attention whoring pieces of shit.
You've already seen it, don't act like you haven't. That chick with glasses quits her job by making a slideshow. Each picture has a message written on a dry erase board and an annoyingly exaggerated, "quirky" facial expression. Then it cuts to her boss, who retorts with a slideshow of his own, and everyone who sees this horrible display of this generations petty vanity and self-obsessed nature are supposed to laugh at how clever these two faggots are for indirectly attacking each other through pictures on the internet.

The whole thing is a hoax.

As if it wasn't lame enough, as if I didn't hate these two sacks of shit enough already, the whole thing is fake. This wouldn't have been funny if it were real, it still would have been annoying as fuck. But the exchange being fake? Holy fuck, how pathetic, lonely, and meaningless is your existence that you need to do shit like this?

"I have no ambition or goals. My life is a hollow, meaningless shell with nothing to put inside of it. What should I do? I know! I'll go viral with some corny hoax! That will give me a reason not to wash my entire xanax presciption down with this bottle of grain alcohol!"
Why would you want this stupid shit to go viral? Think about the process of how this viral hoax came to fruition.

Someone thought it was a good idea to fake-quit a job they never had. They thought it was hilariously witty to stage a fake argument waged with slideshows. They wasted hours of their time writing a series of passive aggressive messages on a dry erase board, posing with each message for a photo with an annoying, exaggerated facial expression....I bet this whole fucking thing was based around that lame "Trash Dispencer" joke.

"That trash dispencer pun is gold! We really need to make it go viral. We just need a vehicle to house this powerhouse joke in....I know! A dry-erase slideshow argument!"

As if making a slideshow with a dry erase board wasn't faggy enough, staging an entire drama around it just brings it to that aforementioned "selfies at funerals" fagginess level, a level so few things attain.

How much of an attention whore do you need to be to do something like this? That's like two kids in school staging a fight so they both look tough. It's like taking a puff off a joint and not inhaling to look cool....for years. It's like that chick that was drinking non-alcoholic beer at a party that fell down the stairs while pretending to be drunk.


You really want the attention THAT BAD, Jenny and Spencer? How about this. Get yourself on live TV and fist each other. Now THAT will be impressive. The Olympics is still going until the 23rd, so why not squeeze past security so you can squeeze your fists into each others loose buttholes as people from around the entire world watch? You certainly can't hoax a fisting on live TV, that's for sure.

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