Thursday, January 2, 2014

Troll Hunting (Part 15) Ash Khan

Now here's an interesting one for you. I joined up with a Facebook group recently dedicated to 80's synthesizer music. I decided to start a conversation about heavy metal and progressive rock with heavy usage of synthesizers. I opened with the Judas Priest song "Blood Red Skies," a track the band wrote with Terminator in mind. I'll just let the argument that unfolded speak for itself....

"Blood Red Skies" is a way better song than "You Could Be Mine." It's more atmospheric, it's more tension filled, it's more applicable to the Terminator franchise...hell, the song was written with Terminator in mind. "You Could Be Mine" is just...well...another Guns 'n' Roses track.

But I didn't want to start an argument, really. With my new job, new band, and current reinvigorated inspiration producing solo music, I simply don't have the time. So I liked his comment to display an apprehension to arguing. This would give the impression to any normal person that I am respectfully disagreeing with them. I responded with:

Argument averted, I can get back to writing music. Don't necessarily want to troll this guy on a group I promote my music in, so JUST TO BE SURE, let me further devalue my own opinion so Ash doesn't take it the wrong way.......

I cancelled the importance of my own opinion out here, basically stating "I'm too young to have a relevant opinion, so don't take what I say too seriously." But this wasn't enough for Ashley. Oh no, me devaluing my own opinion while also respectfully disagreeing with his comment (liking his dissenting remark) wasn't enough.

Where the hell did I suggest "Blood Red Skies" would be used over the end credits, or during Arnold Schwarzenegger's sacrifice scene? I never even suggested where it would fit in the movie, just that the atmosphere and lyrical content were more applicable to the Terminator franchise then Guns 'n' Roses. You know, the whole 'cinematic traditional metal' vs. 'hair metal cock rock.'

You'd figure after a decisive verbal bitch slap of that depth, Ash would slink away to lick his wounds (and anal beads) clean. I even followed up with an obvious joke, suggesting "Welcome to the Jungle" for Rocky IV. Rocky IV, of course, being set in Russia. But apparently, according to every single person losing an argument on the internet, articulating oneself fluently is 'whining like a bitch.'

Even someone else steps in, to point out Ash's definitive lost. But he's still attacking back, trying to remix insults I already made...unsuccessfully.


Seems like everyone in there is getting a kick out of someone finally putting this weird, creepy, molestery looking asshole in his place.

He really is the real-life Dat Ash. His name is even Ash Khan. His similarities to Ash Ketchum are remarkable.

Let's recap with what started this retarded argument in the first place, shall we readers?

I'm not seeing the resemblance.

 The only similarities are we're both white, and neither of us are smiling.

The resemblance between him and Dat Ash are astounding, though.

Now I chose to set up some troll bait for him. I really do find the physcology of trolls very interesting. So I'm gonna call him out for being homophobic, then I'll call him a faggot when the opportunity presents itself. He will never catch on, either.

In the end, Ash Ketchum was banned from the group. The administrator messaged me and told me they had removed him, and that he had been warned over the course of the year. So for an entire year, this asshole treated everyone in this group like shit, and everyone laughed along, essentially ignoring him. Ain't gonna fly with me, jabroni. I ain't gonna ignore your forced pessimism, Ashley, I'm gonna amplify MY pessimism to eclipse yours and then ram it into your skull.

1 comment:

If you should strike me down I will become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.