Friday, July 5, 2013

Jay-Z = Cock Sucking Piece of Shit (Magna Carter Probably Blows)

You wanna know what rustles my jimmies? Generic music that is somehow both unintentionally derivative and wildly successful. In other words, when unoriginal and lackluster musicians/artists/DJs/MCs get put on lofty pedestals for nothing more than successful marketing. Why are all the successful artists cookie-cutter, bland, and mediocre? Even the artists with talent seem to sacrifice their artistic expression for dollars. Why isn't innovation, creativity, and talent marketable? Music only seems to be marketable if it's neatly packaged, labeled, and diluted into some sort of ironic statement on tasteless consumerism.

Here in the US, there seems to be a very small amount of room in the music mainstream for any sort of progress...other than for 10 - 15 artists seemingly hand-picked to dumb down society, raping their ear drums in the process.

Lady Gaga. Justin Beiber. Rihanna. Beyonce. One Direction. Taylor Swift. Miley Cyrus. Kanye West. Jay-Z. Rick Astley. Rinse. Repeat. Retarded.

It's always the same assholes with the same shitty, overproduced garbage rising to the top of the charts, and that just never made sense to me. Although I think it's arguable the reason mainstream music is so terrible is because the dumber the product, the more 'marketable' and 'accessible' it becomes. While that simultaneously explains the mainstream while not making any fucking sense, it also opens a whole new can of worms.

Surely if dumbing down a product leads to mass appeal, that would imply most people are dumb. So why is stupidity the regular? And if people are continually dumbed down by the very media that influences them, a media that is incidentally influenced by the very people influenced by the media, that would mean we should imply everyone is influencing each other to grow rapidly more ignorant. Like everyone is raping each others intellect and standards in one fell swoop without even realizing it.


 
Again, shouldn't the talented, the innovative, the risk takers...shouldn't THEY rise to the top? But no, they can't, because art / music that makes you THINK isn't marketable.

That doesn't make sense to me, and never did.
 
I've literally ended friendships inadvertently over strong opinions on certain music and certain bands. I've gotten into huge debates about bands, rappers, and artists many times. I enjoy such verbal battles, helps me exercise my vocabulary and mind. Nothing wrong with that. They almost always end up sour on the internet, though. It's inevitable.

Usually its a Led Zeppelin debate, or maybe grunge vs hair metal, or maybe a Phish rant. But recently Jay-Z in particular has been rustling my jimmies the most of all.
As a child I was exposed to a lot of rap. And of all the songs I heard, "Hard Knock Life" was one of those that haunted my waking life. That song, and that other one by someone else that just said "Roll out" as part of the beat. It literally says "Roll Out" every 1/4th note for the ENTIRE song. And then when they started introducing that faggy "Chipmunk singing" style, with the sped up lyrics. Awful. But back to cock sucking Jay-Z. 
 
Jay Z is horrible. Weak flow, "flaccid" delivery, repetitive lyrical content. Compared to even above average level hip hop MCs, Jay-Z sounds simultaneously forced and tame. And his attitude as a person just seems really shitty. Don't get me wrong, the entire music industry is sketchy. But Jay Z? This motha fucka and his wife party with Obama and shit, then name their kids Blue Ivy (which incidentally is an anagram for Buy Evil...accurate name), names his company fucking ROCAFELLA. What an arrogant, talentless piece of shit.

Admittedly, I'm uneducated on Jay Zs music. I've probably heard 10 - 20 of his songs. But there's a reason I've never listened to "Reasonable Doubt" in full. To me, Jay-Z always sounds bored and restrained. Almost as if he thinks he's too good to have to put any effort into his work. It's not as bad as, say, Lil Wayne, who just sounds like someone with a serious mental disability ODing on cough medicine, Jay-Z just sounds completely mediocre. I've never heard him take any risks rhythmically. It's always the same flow, the same vocal pitch and timber, the same "self-important mafioso" lyrics. And because of all this, I've always wondered why he was held in such high esteem; everything I've heard him do sounds so generic, bland, and uninspired.
 
Now as a hip hop fan, I'm equally interested in the delivery and flow of an artist as I am of their lyrical content. And the delivery and flow of Jay Z has always come across as very "safe" and stale. Nothing fast and technical like Immortal Technique. Nothing batshit crazy like Eminem. Nothing emotional and intelligent like Tupac. Nothing stoic and OG like KRS-One. Jay-Z has no highs and lows, he's just an average-at-best rapper.

Much like Lil Waynes fans, Jay-Zs fans also have a reason he deserves his accolades - apparently, he writes all his lyrics in his head. But why the fuck should that matter? That has nothing to do with the final product. If Rick Astley wrote "Never Gonna Give You Up" entirely in his mind and then recorded the entire thing in one sitting, would it make him "Top 10 Pop Artists of all Time" worthy? Fuck no. So this rule shouldn't apply to Lil Wayne for getting high and (crappily) freestyling every album, nor should it apply to Jay-Z writing his self-important, repetitive lyrics in his head.

How an MC chooses to write their lyrics is of no consequence to the end product. I could care less if he scribbled his words down on a napkin, wrote them in his mind, typed them in a laptop, used a rhyming dictionary or free-styled an entire album. The end product, and how all the elements of hip hop come together in the music, is most important.

Lyrically I'm more concerned with a message or story. All Jay-Z seems to do is ride his own dick. I've always hated that style of rap....just talking yourself up the entire fucking song without saying a god damn thing worth hearing. Without the occasional moral or message thrown into an artists discography, it just seems like one gimmick after another.  Rappers have this mindset that totally ruins hip hop, and it goes something like this:

"How many ways can I lyrically masturbate my own ego? Let's find out!"



Enough to build an entire career off of, apparently.


Someone even told me he intentionally dumbs his music down for mass appeal. How is that an admirable quality? How is that a valid point to bring up in a debate about whether Jay-Z deserves all the credit he gets or not? That is the definition of a sell-out. He is literally whoring out his artistic vision just for money. Being a session musician to make cash is one thing. But literally dumbing down your product to capture a wider demographic, admitting it in your lyrics, and even bragging about it? You're a fucking cocksucker if you do that.

Jay-Z is a cock sucking piece of shit. I bet the same people who decided to sell-out hip hop (you know, to fill privately owned jails) had Pac and Biggie capped so Jay-Z could rise to prominence and dumb the entire genre down. Changing the priorities of hip hop from a genre of music meant to uplift and educate those living in ghettos into a contest about who can lyrically suck their own dick the most in one album.

6 comments:

  1. couldn't agree with you more. jay-z piece of do do and wiggers made him rich, he and his lyp singing phony wife buy each other 5 million dollar watches and 40 million dollar private jets with dey money, and to date have given a whopping $6.000.00 dollars to charity, now thats six thousand some dollars to charit. a parrott with a learning disabilaty can sing rap. congradulaions you wiggers you made these 2 talentless phony bastards billionares

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  2. oh i forgot to mention when mr. kingshit jay-z dee asshole was axed about his low donations to charity, his arrogance response was>> MY PRESENCE IS CHARITY

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  3. If they were a little less arrogant, more people would like them. Jay-z and Bey always elicit the same response from me - meh. It's always about them being kind and queen which is tiresome.

    I prefer to support someone like Jennifer Hudson. That woman overcame personal tragedy and came back to the music industry standing tall and proud. Still, she obviously has life experience and a deep soul compared to her contemporaries.

    J. Hud. deserves more respect than Be-yawn-ce any day. It may sound silly, but when I see Bey in mags I think "Ugh...not you again." and when I see J. Hudson in magazines I think "Happy for you!". J-Hud is just a real-seeming person, and I wish her the best.

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