Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Hey Pacefalm! 'No, Just No' (Troll Hunting Part 12)

Pacefalm. What a brilliant name for an EDM producer who craps out simplistic garbage in the space of an hour they then wrongly define as music. It's perfect, really - the person is warning you ahead of time with the very name of their project what you're likely going to be forced to do when you hear their songs. You're going to 'face palm' when you hear their generic trap and dubstep tracks they made on Garage Band in a half hour. (Because you can't spell crap without three letters of the word trap.)

I didn't start this war. Pacefalm started this shit.
I fucking hate when people do this. "No dude, just no." Anyone who uses any variation of this....
 "No...just no."

...should be banned permanently from the internet. And they should still have to pay their internet bill, despite not being allowed to use it. There is an art to being a pretentious dickhead, and you fucking idiots that use the "No...just no" reaction are sullying that very art by using half-assed internet terms in place of perfecting the whole "mock superiority" angle. Watch some British TV and Curb Your Enthusiasm, Pacefalm, you'll get it. I'm rooting for you, buddy! Or maybe you won't - I mean, you barely put any effort into your music so how can you be expected to put any effort into being a smug dickhead*?

(*Last April, I figured I had accomplished enough in music to get away with this 'smug dickhead' comedy blog, and look what happened. This blog actually gets more traffic than my soundcloud does, which is simultaneously annoying as fuck and hilarious. Here is an unnecessary chart to illustrate my point.)

 Here, let's take a step back and look at Pacefalms comment in context.

"no dude, just no.. that did not match that at all hahaha"

What are you referring to, Pacefalm? What didn't match what?
What is that and what is that? I get the impression someone with the capabilities of half-assing cookie-cutter EDM and posting it online with a cringe inducing stage name in lig patin isn't (completely) retarded....they're just stupid like 90% of everyone else, and as such I decided to go over to Pacefalms page, give them the benefit of the doubt, and listen to some of their music.

Of course, while I was there giving them the "benefit of the doubt," I could still decide to leave the exact same comment on one of their tracks. Why not, right?
"no dude, just no.. that did not match that at all hahaha"
I also left a number of other, more critical comments. This did not sit well with Pacefalm.
Pacefalm relished in his cruel, 14-word review of my music. His verbal tirade on my 38 minute song, "Apocalyptic Dawn," would have crushed a lesser person. In fact, 3 of the 14 words of said review were "ha," implying he was, in fact, laughing at my music. Laughing at a song that has this for a genre....

One can not simply joke about the Greatest and Best Song In The World. Pacefalm needed to be punished. So I decided to leave more comments on his soundcloud.

I know Pacefalm is gonna be hitting me back with some of his brilliant Kiwi* insight. I even gave him the edge and said "because you're music is fucking garbage." There's your opening, Pacefalm. Use it wisely.

*And by Kiwi I mean Australian. I'm just using the term ironically to rustle some jimmies. So STFU and let the troll take its bait.)
UPDATE: 3/13/2013 (12:18 PM)
So the Pacefalm strikes back! Pacefalm decided to troll me back.
  What an amateur. It looks like you're yelling at "evosbeatz," when you're supposed to be yelling at me, jackass. "THIS IS BAD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD" is directed at evosbeatz for what reason, Pacefalm? If you have beef with evosbeatz, take it up with him. Honest mistake though, I'm sure you were blind with rage after seeing my comments on your music, and in your rage failed to realize a comment you made was wrongly directed at an innocent bystander. Surely evosbeatz was the only casualty of your stupidity. Right?

Guess not. Full Blooded Mutt, mds-digital, the-univeral-sickness, suspect-hero, johnnie-greenback, bonnie-legion, :, thepootyclub, househertz, complex-humans, manchineofficial, and drgoo all got targeted as well. Way to be a dick to all these people for no reason, bro. You never even listened to their music and you're calling it shit?


As for "SKRILL0X PLS," I'll skrill0x my dick into your mothers ear canal. Maybe my dick in her ear will give her a much needed break from hearing your poverty productions.

The thing about Pacefalm is, he keeps deleting my comments on his music. At least I have the common decency to leave his disparaging remarks on my Soundcloud for all to see. What a coward. I'm not gonna deny this jaborini's right to free speech because he chooses to attack my music with it. Instead, I'll respond by exercising my right to freedom of speech by being an even bigger dick back. That's just how we do it in the OC.
Again, I felt obligated to respond to his latest response to my response of his response to my music with a speed troll attack. I did this because I know he's gonna delete it all anyway, so might as well post the same thing over and over again to make it far more annoying to deal with.

 When I went to drop some comments on Pacefalms Soundcloud, I noticed he only follows 20 people. What a BADASS! The guy mutual followed 800 people, then after a while he hit "Unfollow" to all but 20 to look like he earned those followers with interesting and original music. What caught my eye in the follower section was an artist named "Funtcase."

   An artist named "FuntCase." Just from seeing that, I could tell Pacefalm based his entire career around Funtcase. And I knew what angle I'd use in my comments this time. Basically, considering both artists used pig Latin in their stage names, and Funtcase has around 3 times the Soundcloud following, I assumed Pacefalm is really just a poor mans Funtcase. Pacefalm is so unimaginative it literally took 20 seconds to figure out the source he plagiarized his music, stage name, and the general direction of his career from.
So I left these two comments, numerous times, in rapid succession:


Now if my troll instincts are correct, this comment, "Oh look, I think I'm FuntCase!" should really strike a nerve, because...well...I'm basically calling the guy a ripoff. Suggesting his entire music persona is just a knock-off of someone else. He might as well call himself "Scrallax" or "Ugly Lights" instead, at least those are bigger named artists to ape your style off of.


  1. this should make you laugh i call it this guy sucks and makes boring music


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