Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Trending


  




What happened, Yahoo? All the sudden you're posting articles about whiskey? And all the sudden cool stuff is actually in the "TRENDING NOW" section?

Monkeys attack village? 

Sign me up. That sounds interesting as hell, and has every right to be the #1 trending item on Yahoo.
 

Ravens Cheerleader...
You don't even need to finish that statement, Yahoo, I'm quite sure the article is....titillating....at the least. 

Sex Slavery Cult 
That escalated pretty fast, didn't it? Especially considering we started things off with "Monkeys attack village." Maybe the monkeys attacking the village were brainwashed by the sex slavery cult.

Real-life "Jaws" off Hamptons
Sometimes that shark looks right at ya. Right into your eyes. And the thing about a shark is he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, he doesn't even seem to be livin'... 'til he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then...ah, then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'. The ocean turns red, and despite all your poundin' and your hollerin' those sharks come in and...they rip you to pieces.

I'm gonna skip the Magnitude 6.8 quake to jump right into the....

 

Ancient super Crocodile found
So we got a real-life Jaws and ancient super crocodiles swimming around, bracing from the tsunami from Magnitude 6.8 earthquakes. Meanwhile, monkeys brainwashed by sex slavery cults are attacking villages.....something something, two basketball players....and Rick Ross punking out like a fat little bitch and calling 911?

Renewable Energy

 ...now there's a good idea. Maybe if we all weren't too busy trying to build the most nukes and worked as a unified planet we could start focusing on inventing some sort of renewable energy source. Maybe figure out how we could power everyone's home the world over......for free. Just a thought.

2 comments:

If you should strike me down I will become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.