Tuesday, January 15, 2013

It's Not Unusual

Dear Diary,

Go fuck yourself. You all make me sick. That's right, ALL of you. Fucking hypocritical, self-awareness lacking snobs. The whole lot of you. I'm not just talking about assholes like this Justin Doublett character, who is telling me to take down my intentionally plagiarised, satirical War Z 'review' because he thinks his opinion on a game matters to people in the slightest and that my parody article somehow besmirches the legitimacy of his crappy writing, or that somehow someone satirically plagiarizing his work will somehow poison the words he has typed. Literally threatening to take LEGAL ACTION against me. For a parody.

You know how easy it is to plagiarize, guy? Highlight a few measly paragraphs with your mouse, hit "Ctrl+C," open up a dialogue box on a website such as the status box in Facebook, or a "new article" on blogger, and hit "Ctrl+V." There ya go, an article has been plagiarized. Took less than a minute. You're really gonna go to the effort of contacting / hiring a lawyer over a simple copy and paste? Why not....I don't know....be reasonable? Especially when the 'plagiarist' explains their motive amicably in a timely, civilized response to your initial legal threats? I guess you can't spell "Hipster" without "Pretentious."

 And that's just one douchebag I encounter....on the internet. It's even worse in real life. People are just annoying. I'm annoying. But you already know that. It's not my fault I'm annoying, and it's not YOUR fault that YOU'RE annoying. Our species just sucks. As Bill Hicks once said, we're like a virus with shoes.
Hell, at this point I don't even think it's worth the effort of getting to know people, because in the long run, people only socialize for personal gain. Friendship? Brotherhood? Loyalty? The very few who actually practice this stuff likely have a perverted self-importance, or just haven't become jaded yet and still have a hope they are making a difference, or are denying the very fact that most of their social relationships are based entirely on personal gain.

I'm talking to YOU now, readers. When is the last time you contacted someone to give them something? When is the last time you saw someone asking for help on Facebook, and decided to answer their plea? Or when is the last time you came into a large bag of marijuana, contacted a friend, and told them to come over so you can smoke them up? I bet it's been at least a year since you've committed a selfless act, no matter how big or small, without leveraging some kind of personal gain in the process. I used to love doing this kind of shit; call my friends with the surprise of a huge bag of nuggets or a bottle of liquor. But then I realized being an honest, giving person only leads to people walking all over you, and that very very few people shared the mindset I had. And it made be bitter. And I stopped sharing my liquor and nuggets. That was all the way back in the 4th grade. And things have only deteriorated for me socially since then.

I tried doing the "loyal" thing with dozens of people over the years, and I always discovered the same selfish behavior from them all. I've had cheating girlfriends, I've had dozens of so-called "friends" talking constant shit behind my back, I've had people go out of their way to ask a favor of me when they damn well know they never intend to pay it back and help me out in my time of need. People are selfish, dishonest, self-centered, and unwilling to think poorly of themselves. This distorted, warped perception of reality affords them the luxury of feeling better than everyone else, without ever having to prove they are with anything but words, their bank savings, and buying a bunch of overpriced, materialistic bullshit. This is 99.99999999999999999% of people on the planet. There are so few people who are willing to sacrifice their own ego and reputation for the sake of community. And that small .00000000000000001% give up on their dignified ways as each year causes them to grow increasingly bitter with the very species they are a part of.

People suck. And the only people who really give a damn about YOU are the ones that are blood-related. Family are the only folks you can trust, and while family can extend to people you met in your travels (people that aren't blood-related), those types are as rare as holographic Charizards. Unfortunately for me, because of how bitter and resentful a person I have become......because of the amount of faith I have in the human race (its in the negative).....due to all the tumultuous relationships I've endured throughout my 24 year existence.....I can't even treat blood-related family right. It's a sick and twisted world, with an even sicker and more twisted species running it into the ground.

Why the fuck else would I prefer being an introverted, unemployed hermit with absolutely no social life? 

An intense case of herpes that somehow covers 90% of my body in unsightly lesions?

The paranoia of being constantly stigmatized the second I leave the room?

The uncomfortable feeling that people intentionally throw up figurative road-blocks whenever I'm traveling the highways of success?

I am a reclusive lone-ranger for a reason - because I enjoy creating. See, with creative endeavors, I feel a sense of accomplishment. I CREATED something, something REAL, something at least somewhat original, that others can feel entertained by. But most importantly, I myself can be entertained by. Fuck this whole, "having 100 friends in real life and only 1 of them is actually dependable" bullshit. I enjoy my time in self-imposed solitary confinement too much to care about social status. I'm not gonna compromise my personality to fit in with a bunch of people trying to act, dress, talk, walk, and look the same. Fuck that, I'd rather die alone in my own shoes than die in a crowd wearing someone elses shoes. Scratch that, on second thought, I feel like dying in a crowd wearing someone elses shoes, in many circumstances, could be an entertainingly extravagant exit from this shit existence, so let's not rule it out just yet. But I digress....
I prefer creating. I can record my music, write my unfunny articles, create my hack-job digital art, and most importantly, live in peace, without all the petty drama that dominates literally every social circle. People are fucking annoying. People constantly air dirty laundry about each other in the comfort of complete anonymity. And I'm done dealing with their bullshit.

It seems like everyone is so satisfied with themselves while dishing out verbal beat-downs....but the second the subject matter becomes more personal, look out. They can't stand to take a few hits to their own self-perpetuated standards of mock superiority and counterfeit transcendence. God forbid someone talks down to them for a change. It must be fucking terrible to be 'right' all the time, you might as well put a bullet in your fucking skull if you think you have all the answers and have no more questions to ask. Or to even give a shit that you might be 'wrong' for a change. What a trite, humorless existence that must be. Lighten the fuck up, Darwin.

Do you know how annoying it is to be a conspiracy theorist, to be called crazy for years because of your rebellious and grim outlook on modern-day society, only to have the same people ostracizing you from their snooty little social circles all the sudden trying to educate you on the exact same subject matter that they looked down on you for sharing years earlier?

It's actually not all that annoying because, and I reiterate, people suck and this sort of behavior is not only completely predictable, it's actually rewarded. That's right, being a sneaky, manipulative piece of shit that rides trend-waves and tries to fit in at the expense of their own unique character is rewarded in todays shitty, watered down, morally backwards society. Oh joy, what a wonderful time to be alive. When we have the technology to observe huge helpings of the culture of the past century, but learn absolutely nothing from this perspective. Cultural existence is literally an oxymoron, at this point.

It's all fun and games for people, particularly us Americans, when we're the ones dishing it out. But the second we become the target of these verbal beat-downs, we seem to resort with unnecessary hostility and unwarranted self-righteousness in response. No one is above being trolled. No one is above criticism. Get off your high horses, lower your noses to the dirt, just for a second, and shut the fuck up. Or if you can't force yourself to shut the fuck up, why not level some criticisms inward for a nice change of pace? I know, I know, when people train themselves to think they're perfect, flawless individuals for most of their lives, it begins to warp their very perceptions, giving them an unwarranted ego that has absolutely nothing to back it up. So, just for once, break character and admit you have faults like the rest of us. Admit the entire human race, INCLUDING YOU, is shitty and flawed. It only makes this shitty, boring existence easier to accept.

Now correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought a key to being a cynical asshole and getting away with it is mocking yourself in the process? You know, so people realize you don't take yourself seriously? So they realize, that YOU realize, that we are all on an extremely uneven and rocky terrain, and that on this figurative terrain people of all walks of life have different pros and cons? That these pros and cons give each person individual character, a unique outlook on life, and a chance to make their own difference, no matter how small, should they rise above societal conditioning and unnecessary government constrictions? That no matter how good you are at something, there is always someone better? And that no matter how modest you are, there will always be people out there jealous of your abilities, jealous enough to dedicate their time to seeing you fail?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but when someone constantly criticizes other people.....or even those that criticize others for being overly-critical......shouldn't these critics have some sort of contingency plan in play so that they don't come across as some talentless prick who compensates for their lack of drive, creativity, and ambition by constantly mocking others?

At the end of the day, who fucking cares? I type these meaningless words into a blog host that can, at any second, wipe my site off the face of the internet like a parent wipes the fecal matter off the puckered anus of their retarded 13 year old offspring. It makes some people laugh, which is 90% of the reason I write. It offends other people. It makes my so-called "friends" talk more shit behind my back. It makes people think I have an 'ego' and am 'full of myself,' just because I enjoy writing and 'using big words.' The same people missing the joke of the blog are the people who mistake the passion and enthusiasm with which I create and share my music as conceited.

Fuck you all. Fuck all you naysayers who lack entertainment punch. Fuck all you hipster faggots hating shit just for the sake of hating shit. Fuck all you snobs who criticize but forget to make it entertaining. Fuck you asshats who think so highly of yourself that you feel you are above criticism or above taking a few self-aimed pot-shots every now and again. Fuck all you shit talkers and idiots who threaten legal action on a blog that gets less than 1,000 views a day for satirically plagiarizing your shitty review. Fuck you sheep, and fuck you former sheep who are now trying to educate me on the same shit I was trying to tell you three years ago....but at the time it wasn't fashionable, so I was crazy, and now that it is fashionable, you feel like you're fucking George Washington or some shit. Fuck you bandwagon hopping tools that got inspired by the Occupy Movement, flipped a complete 180 on your personal views of the government and now feel like you're throwing tea off British naval vessels because you share a Youtube link on your Facebook when really, you just jumped on the dick of yet another trend in a line of trend-dicks like the complete trend-whore you are. Fuck all you judgmental pricks who forget to have a sense of humor as you stew in mediocrity - create something if you're gonna attack everything else. Fuck all you shit-talkers, trend-jumpers, hipsters, snobs, humorless societal rejects, dissenters, Russians, Chinks, Niggers, Spicks, Heebs, Faggots, Dykes, Christians, Annunaki, Americans, Hicks, Crackers, Fascists, Nazis, Buddhists, Hindi folk, Internet Trolls, porn-stars, hookers, firemen, police officers, Muslims, comics, musicians, Jews, Africans, Caucasians, KKK members....

Fuck you, planet Earth. And fuck everyone in it. Including me.

The only thing in that image of Eddie ripping the Earth open that isn't satisfying to look at is the fact he found the Earths brain. We're fucking clueless, our planet doesn't have a brain. 

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If you should strike me down I will become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.