Sunday, January 13, 2013

20,000 (100 Part 2 (AKA 124 (AAKA 100 + 24)))

To close out 2012, I figured I'd go out with a BANG and proceeded to BANG your MOTHER. No, but seriously, I made love to her tenderly. I also released a total of 27 articles last month, which was a step up from by previous record, 23 articles in November. Before that, the most articles I shat out in a month was 17 in April, the month I started the blog. But not only did I end 2012 with a bang, I've now started 2013 with one as well. (Because I just banged your sister. And broke 20,000 views.)

23,244 views. I feel like a million bucks, like I just figured out Blues Clues or some shit.

 To commemorate 20,000 views, and to commemorate my 5th article of 2013, I absolutely nothing. See originally, I intended to finish what I started in my 100th article, "100" and continue the montage of highlights from my blogs history. I was thinking "Hopefully this time I won't be interrupted by the god damn Greshtiffoorapeulessians." But after seeing all my videos taken down on Jew Tube because of 'copyright infringement,' I decided to just do nothing, instead, and post this pointless, unfinished article, because -

(Just ignore everything in the video besides the "FUCK YOU" part. See, I don't even love myself, never mind loving some random slut I've never even met. A random slut with such horrible taste that not only is she driving around with YOU instead of ME, but she has, in fact, never even met me. That would be an entirely unwarranted reason to hate you. Hell, I don't even know who you are, because literally anyone can be reading this, but it's more likely that no one is reading this than anyone and even less likely that everyone is ready this so apparently I'm talking to no one right now and still not making any god damn sense.

I guess the entire Youtube Video above could apply to certain individuals, but only if they're dating any of the following celebrities: Olivia Munn, Jessica Alba, Emilia Clark, countless other hot, rich celebrities that would offer me the luxury of never working or leaving my house if I dated them because they're so rich from being hot celebrities that I wouldn't have to do shit because why get a job when I'm already smashing a celebrity with tons of cash? The only reason I would want a job is to get laid and buy pot. Why else would I want to waste my time being a corporate slave unless it was to procure drugs and smash sluts?

If was dating a celebrity I could live out my dream of sitting at my house every day, recording music, writing pointless ramblings like this article, playing Super Nintendo and N64, and having a hot girlfriend despite the fact that all I did was sit at my house every day, record music, write pointless ramblings like this article, and play Super Nintendo and N64. That's my dream, man. Just like Dr. Martin Luther King JR, I have a dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: 'We hold these truths to be self-evident; that all men are created equal." 

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former corporate-slaves and the sons of former corporate CEOs will be able to sit together at the table of brotherhood (Made in China).

I have a dream that one day even the state of Massachusetts, a state sweltering with the heat of girls that prefer Puerto Ricans, sweltering with the heat of stoner oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom, justice, and easy tail for unemployed metal-head hippie stoner conspiracy theorists.

I have a dream that little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, thickness of their wallet, or social reputation; but by the content of their character. 

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its Governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification, one day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places plains, and the crooked places will be made straight, and before the Lord will be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.

I have a dream that one day I will start dating a rich, hot celebrity that will afford me the luxury of pursuing my artistic passions, releasing both musical and comedic content, entirely for free, for my 20 or so listeners / followers while remaining unemployed, lazy, and introverted.

I have a black and white dream - today....and the dream is true. 



1 comment:

If you should strike me down I will become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.