Wednesday, December 12, 2012

The Walking Dead (Game (Sucks)) (Zombies Part 5)

The Walking Dead game sucks. There, I said it. Despite all the critical acclaim and gamer circle jerks, the Walking Dead wasn’t even able to hold my interest past the 2nd chapter. It’s the Dark Knight all over again: pay enough critics to yell loudly enough about something, and people start believing all the bullshit hype. The Walking Dead won GAME OF THE YEAR at the VGAs. Before I go off on a tirade, let me get something out of the way here:
I’m a zombie fanatic. I’ve wrrgjiosfv$%_T^&%*$() 
was made by me.

I was showing people the pirated series premiere of thsafbhasFBVGBHFDABJnbdjsadABGFUIFuaegufheafAH
lives or dies!” That’s some bullshit, because I clearly chose to save the character that WASN’T Duck in the first chapter, and he survived anyways. I wanted that little cock-sucking retard Duck dead the second they introduced his character.

Now even if the story wasn’t full of cliche afrgtjefdhfujfbjsdakfnhuihdvj___________eghfujsdhfjsdf_____Egfhfua
TellTale are a big fuckhrdafhyuabdyfuvdgsiyvhcgvsycdc
of a company as far as bgtygbruwijfeoifhg_______yvbjdsfbetfujsvsfdvbfsv

cash in on profitable franchises and churn out half-assed grhfvuwfewrehnmujgrfnvjwnfwejfioqwfwuigifwjefef

What the hell was that? Looks like Sweet Funky Freedom got hit with some Gresthiffoorapeulessian censorship.

Damn you, Gresthiffoorapeuli! Damn all you to Gresthiffoorapeulessian hell! Here's a thought - why don't you fuck off and go back to your own world? We don't come sauntering into New Gresthiffoorapeulessia Jersey 5 every other Thursday to figuratively pillage and literally rape YOUR people, do we? This is our planet. Don't come round here no more!

Fear not, readers. I know this looks bad. I was just censored on my own blog. They're pissing all over...whatever amendment freedom of speech is; that numer. Who cares what number America put on "freedom of speech"? America only put a number to "Freedom of Speech" so America would take credit for a freedom we were born with. "Freedom of speech" is nothing more than having a voice to speak with.Now did our government grant us the ability to speak? That's right, of course they didn't. So maybe we should shut the fuck up about "freedom" and actually start embracing the concept. (As opposed to thanking the very jackasses bleeding us dry of our freedoms. They 'allow us' to use the freedoms we always had - what a fucking joke.)

But fear not, readers. All is not lost, and their censorship has failed. Contingency planning was preemptively undertaken, and you can read the entire article over at Rantlister. Hopefully you will be able to get there in time, before the Walking Dead "Game of the Year" media frenzy tricks you into lowering your standards yet again and enjoying this crappy choose-your-own how to waste $25.



  1. Replies
    1. Amazing retort, Guy who calls people &qu0t;faggot&qu0t;. You certainly defended "Fisher Prices The Walking Dead" with amazing grace and verbal virtuosity.

      Way to buy into the exact line of thinking that indoctrinates gamers into being mindless consumer whores with no standards.

    2. I agree I have no idea why it's getting the praise it is. I mean game of the year it's more accurate to call it an interactive story book. Like you said your choices don't really matter as it all leads to similar endpoints. There is no controversy here with the choices the people you learn to hate you want dead so there's no moral dilemma. That combined with the crappy gameplay makes for a very mediocre game.


If you should strike me down I will become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.