Friday, November 30, 2012

Pepper thy Anguirus

The internet is a place of endless opportunity. If you have something to share with the world, what better place than the internet? Sure, you won't make money right away. But the internet is the widest, most diverse audience you could ever dream of advertising to. It's a starving artists non-edible wet dream.

But of all the things on the internet...from inanimate object porn, to illiterate African American rednecks spotting a Leprechaun in their community, to a group of close friends taking turns dry-humping an unsuspecting ottoman, to Japanese girls shooting dozens of living eels out of their anuses....the internet is still missing at least ONE crucial element.

Why the fuck hasn't someone took all the Godzilla movies, removed the stupid fucking human plots that bog them down. and whittle these movies down to just the monster fights?

Seriously, how has this not been done? I searched on Youtube, google, Vimeo, DailyMotion...nothing. I even asked that pompous dickhead Jeeves the first question he's likely heard in years. "Where can I find a montage of every Godzilla fight, Jeeves, without having to sit through an hour of piss-poor voice dubbing?" I can see why Jeeves became Googles bitch, he didn't know shit.
As per usual, I've gotta do EVERYTHING around here. (And by "around here," I mean on the internet.) So I've decided to cut down Godzilla movies to just the monster fights myself. But I'm gonna take it a step further, as I tend to like raising the bar, as you are all well aware by now. After all, if you think of Earth as a giant bar, and you think of our species as people drinking at the bar of Earth, it isn't all that crazy to assume the bar is on "Last call" and about to kick all of us drunk assholes out. "You don't have to go home, but you're not staying here! Oh wait, here is your're fucked."

So I present to you all, Phase 1 in the Shredzilla series:


This is just part of the glorious "Final Full Month Of Funky Freedom" figurative wad I decided to blow all over your figurative tits. I'm putting the final touches on the song and video today. Should be released before December rears it's ugly, apocalyptic head....

Update: Got lazy. Ran out of my pot supply. Had to restock. Should be done soon.

1 comment:

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