Friday, November 30, 2012

Bloody-Disgusting, Get Your Shit Together (Zombies Part 3)

Bloody-Disgusting has been my source of horror news for many years, along with Arrow in the Head, Shock Till You Drop, Fearnet, Dread Central, Homepage of the Dead, and many others. And while Bloody-Disgusting reportedly has movie reviews influenced entirely by "bribes" and affiliations with filmmakers, the news is still on-point. I mean, how hard is it, really, to post tidbits about developments in the horror community? Bloody-Disgusting has that down great - they're good at posting news in a timely fashion.

 In addition to their swift posting nature, the layout of Bloody-Disgusting is aesthetically pleasing, unlike other movie sites. Ain't It Cool News is designed so horribly, I'm certain it can induce seizures. They've had that same layout for what, 15 years now? I can't even go on AICN anymore, it gives me an immediate headache. Even the color of AICN closely resembles stomach bile. The layout of Bloody-Disgusting, on the other hand, is great on the eyes. And the news on Bloody-Disgusting still flows gloriously, like a young raver girl rolling face while getting nailed on top of a giant pile of money.

Horror is a huge industry, and I love it. I'm a gorehound, a Zedhead. My fucking stage name when performing music is Jon of the Shred, for Christs sake. Millions of others agree with me on how badass Horror is. Horror is in right now, arguably more than ever. So it isn't exactly difficult to maintain a fan-base with a horror website these days, when there's so many of us gorehounds to feed news to. But in some areas, Bloody-Disgusting have had the hiccups for years and, ironically, someone really needs to sneak up on Bloody-Disgusting and scare the piss out of them to get rid of those hiccups. And no, I'm not talking about them selling out with movie reviews - who really cares what someone else thinks about a movie? Form your own opinion, dipshit.

The biggest problem with Bloody-Disgusting is their music section. Again, reviews aren't what I'm at the site for, I'm there for the news, so the whole "BD takes bribes!" thing never really bothered me. The video game section is also pretty damn good - there's no shortage of horror-themed video games to report on, and they do a good job of keeping me up-to-date on games that gaming sites like IGN may pass over or skip. But the music section of BD is a fucking joke.

 That was a print screen of what is currently the newest article on Bloody-Disgusting. 50 Cent Releases Video For "My Life" Featuring Eminem And Adam Levine. How the fuck does this get posted on a horror website?
Horror Influenced music is a very small niche - there isn't nearly as much horror themed music as there are horror movies or horror games. It's far more difficult to make it as a musician with songs influenced by horror, than it is to make it as a game developer making a survival horror game, or a filmmaker making a Slasher flick. And I know this firsthand, because THAT'S WHAT MY MUSIC IS - horror influenced progressive rock mixed with all kinds of other shit. But will you see Bloody-Disgusting do an article about my music? Music made FOR Horror Fans, BY Horror fans? Hell no! Where's the money in promoting someone without a record deal or any media affiliation?

That's right, I'm doing my shit 100% solo - I don't have a record label, I don't have a PR rep, I don't have a manager or a booking agent. I compose, record, and master all the music myself. I can't afford to pay some "Producer" $400 to 'master' my track by throwing an Izone Ozotope preset over it. I can't hire a webdesigner to cook me up a base of operations for my online concept albums, or a graphic artist to visually depict the apocalypse - I just can't afford to. So I design all my own websites and graphics.
I'm a trail-blazer, a musical entrepreneur, hardly scraping by as a self-employed musician in a very harsh landscape based on networking and connections instead of talent and innovation. And I don't mind the uphill battle - it'll make it all the more satisfying when I'm hired to compose the music to Mass Effect 6, or a song I wrote is picked up by the Walking Dead. I figured I'd be getting press all over the horror community by now.
 I'm making a zombie concept album that's pretty much "WORLD WAR Z meets PINK FLOYD'S THE WALL" and releasing this rock opera online, FOR FREE. 
 This is an entirely unique format I myself developed - an online concept album that tells a story entirely through instrumental music I wrote and digital art I designed. It's never been done before, aside from that one other online concept album...the other online concept album I released.
This is innovative shit, people. Point me in the direction of any other band in the history of the internet that did something like this. I've looked, and I can't find any other online concept albums. I feel like fucking Highlander...THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE. I innovated this style of online concept album myself. And I did it 100% solo, without making a fucking dime off of it, without any help along the way.

FREE Music BY Horror Fans, FOR Horror Fans. 

 So where's my article on Bloody-Disgusting? Every time I release a new track and new art, there should be a feature on Bloody-Disgusting music. There should be a post on Dread Central, and an article on Arrow in the Head. And why is that? Because, who the fuck else is doing what I'm doing with horror music? Rob Zombie and Marilyn Manson are novelty acts, they never had the depth for an entire concept album, it's more pump-up hard rock music than progressive. Alice Cooper has settled down, and watched his influence spread throughout music. The closest thing I can think of is probably King Diamond, and he hasn't released anything since 2007's "Give Me Your Soul....Please."

Right now, Apocalyptic Dawn is, as of right now, the definitive online horror-themed zombie apocalypse concept album. That might be because it's the only online horror-themed zombie apocalypse concept album, but that doesn't take away from the fact it is the #1 online horror-themed zombie apocalypse concept album.

But you won't see a single mention about "Apocalyptic Dawn" on Bloody-Disgusting because the sand in their vagina is clouding their judgement on what is actually quality material. A struggling musician with an innovative style isn't what Bloody-Disgusting is looking for - they're looking for crappy, non-horror non-events to bitch about, like Sasha Gray and Eminem collaborating, or to bitch about Green Day bitching for cheap hits which then inspires me to bitch about Bloody-Disgusting bitching about Green Day bitching about set times. Are these people still loyal fans of the horror genre? Are they simply not looking for actual horror influenced music?
 News Flash, jackasses, most people like horror movies to some degree. So that means when someone like Lil Wayne releases a "Top 10 Horror Movies List," there is NO REASON to make an article about it on your site. That isn't "HORROR MUSIC NEWS," that's "NON-HORROR MUSICIAN SOUNDING OFF ON HORROR WITH AN UNEDUCATED OPINION NEWS." We don't need 15 articles a week about shitty musicians that are casual horror fans expressing uneducated opinions on the genre. Bloody-Disgusting Music is what a horror section of TMZ might look like.

 Who gives a fuck what this idiot thinks are the 10 Best Gory Films? Why not post some news on actual music? I wanna hear new horror music, not read random opinions on horror from irrelevant artists. Pull your heads out of your fucking asses and do some actual journalism. Discover artists that embody the spirit of horror. It doesn't even have to be my amazing music, it can be ANYONE with horror influence. Just post some god damn relevant news, and cut the TMZ influence. This is a horror website, not a fucking gossip magazine.

"Fuck promoting underground musicians, there's no money in that!
We're not gonna get hits if we're promoting musicians actually influenced by horror movies! Passionate horror fans that are talented musicians? That's not marketable at all! Everyone knows talent and innovation isn't profitable until at least 30 people have ripped off and misinterpreted that innovation. We need more Davey Suicide!"

Bloody-Disgusting rides Davey Suicides ladyboy dick so hard, they should be getting paid time and a half. Look at these shitheads. I don't even need to insult them, they do it themselves by just existing.

Has there ever been a group of 5 people with more kickable face than this gaggle of transvestites?


  1. As BD's games editor, I appreciate your love for the video game section. Also, "gaggle of transvestites" may very well be my new favorite thing ever.

    1. Whats up dude? Your section of the site kicks ass! That's some damn fine police work, Adam.

  2. 1. Get over yourself and quit crying about not getting the respect you think you deserve. Maybe a slightly different approach to getting you music heard would open a few more doors for you.

    2. I love horror movies. This is why I go to BD, and have for many years. That being said, everything in my life does not revolve around horror. Not every book I read, or every game I play, or every CD I hear has to do with horror. I look at the editors for every section of the site as people who have a love for one, not all, of the things in life I love. This is the same basis of how you meet your real life friends, a common thread. However I don't necessarily like everything they do, but they have been able to introduce me to things I might not have been otherwise, as I do the same for them. So if Adam wants to create a post about the next Halo, not horror, I don't really care. I would actually welcome more articles about the many other great non horror games he's interested in. Same with Lon and the comics/books, and with Jon and the music. Again, I go to BD for horror movies, everything else is a bonus.

    3. I do not read every article on BD, if I see the headline and it's about something I really could care less about, I simply skip over it. I have the power to do that. I'm not forced to read some article on Twilight to get the the article on S-V/H/S. I also don't sit through Stuck on You because Texas Chainsaw Massacre comes on after. It's a wonderful power to have a choice, use it.

    4. This is their platform to do what they are asked to do. No one is coming to your job and knocking the dick out of your mouth. If you think you can do a better job, and I'm sure you do, go for it. I won't be reading it.

    5. I've heard some of your music you so desperately want to be covered. I could offer you some constructive criticism, but you seem like the type that doesn't understand that concept. So in short, I don't like it. Keep being creative though and good luck to you on your endeavors, but it seems you have a lot of growing up to do.

    1. 1. Oh believe me, I'm "over myself." If I wasn't "Over myself" I wouldn't dare try to advertise myself in freestyle rant form. If you didn't notice, that's all this is - a giant advertisement for my zombie concept album.

      2. Not everything in life needs to revolve around horror, that's not what I was saying. My point was, it's fucking retarded to post news on 50 Cent and Sasha Gray on a HORROR WEBSITES MUSIC SECTION. They should be covering more HORROR MUSIC was my point. I even mentioned in here, I could care less if they actually chose to do a story about my music - I just want them to focus more on bands with actual HORROR INFLUENCE. I go to a horror website to get HORROR NEWS. Not gossip and Taylor Swift / KoRn mashups. This is Bloody-Disgusting, not Star Magazine.

      3. Do you really think I sit here, reading articles from a horror news website and actually get angry? That I just stew in my rage without the slightest hint of irony? You think I'm serious? Let me give you a rundown, champ, when I see juicy items I think would be FUN to rant about, I choose to HAVE FUN and RANT about them. This is my attempt of throwing figurative "comedic feces" at the wall and seeing what sticks. The wall being the internet, and the comedic feces in this article being Bloody-Disgustings music section. It's called SATIRE, J-Sin, and it's supposed to be funny. You've never watched an episode of South Park or read an article by Maddox? Ever listen to some Bill Hicks or Doug Stanhope? Your very serious response to my article makes me sound less pretentious, so stop! You're fucking up the persona I've created, you dolt!

      4. Again, you need to reassess the level of seriousness you choose to bring with you when you view a "Conspiracy Humor Blog". And you might wanna change your name, because "J-Sin" sounds like a 17-year old suburbanite Eminem wannabe. "LEAVE LIL WAYNE ALONE! LEAVE HIM ALONE!"

      5. Where did you get the impression I desperately wanted my music covered on Bloody-Disgusting? If I desperately wanted my music to be covered by Bloody-Disgusting, why the fuck would I be attacking Bloody-Disgusting in a satirical fashion? Clearly the editors of the site themselves actually got the joke. Being talented writers themselves, the joke didn't fly over their heads and shit in their hair. The joke was too busy flying over YOUR head and shitting in YOUR hair for them to get hit with any fecal shrapnel.

      In summation, I'll still be a fan of Bloody-Disgusting forever. Hell, they even posted a King Diamond article literally a half-hour after I posted this article. I'll still remain a dedicated fan to the site and all the other horror websites I frequent, even if they never post a single article about my sweet zombie rock opera.

      They all give me up-to-date horror news and for that I am grateful. Thanks to all the editors of all the horror web pages for your hard work!

      But don't you think for even a SECOND, J-Sin, that I will discontinue the showcasing of my respect with the occasional internet wedgie. It's my way of saying "Awesome Show Good Job."

    2. I love constructive criticism by the way! But I don't take constructive criticism seriously from people who can't grasp the concept of satire. Or call themselves J-Sin, for that matter.

  3. You should probably cry about it some more.



If you should strike me down I will become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.