Friday, September 14, 2012

ERMAHGERD, SHERNAH PENERTAH!

For anyone who has any shred of faith left in the current teenagers of our shitty planet....I'm here to crush your dreams. It is time to lay any doubts to rest - the world is fucked. If Earth was a bar, this would be the last call. There is NO saving civilization at this point, and I'm afraid the globalist New World Order agenda, and their social conditioning, worked FAR better than any of the Illuminati cock-sucking reptilians themselves could have ever possibly imagined. At this point, the Georgia Guidestones don't even seem like that bad of a basis on how to proceed with society. It's getting THAT bad.

Don't believe me? Feel like I'm exaggerating? Right...just watch this.


There it is! There it is! There it is! There it is! There it is!
Oh my god!
YEEEAAAHHH! YEEEAAAHHH! YEEEAAAHHH! YEEEAAAHHH! YEEEAAAHHH! YEEEAAAHHH! YEEEAAAHHH! YEEEAAAHHH! YEEEAAAHHH!
I FOUND IT!
I FOUND IT!I FOUND IT! I FOUND IT!I FOUND IT!
 YEEEAAAHHH! YEEEAAAHHH! YEEEAAAHHH!
I FOUND IT, FINALLY!
 YEEEAAAHHH!
OH MY GOD!
OH MY GOD I FINALLY FOUND IT!
OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS EVERYBODY.
A LIVE SHINY PONYTA...IN MY LEAF GREEN VERSION!

Typing that was almost as difficult as watching more than a minute of this video was. All that screaming for...a "shiny Ponyta?" If this kid is THAT excited to catch a troll Pokemon, I can't imagine how he's gonna react when he finally feels the inside of a vagina for the first time - at age 46. (If he ever makes it inside, that is.) Or wins his high schools football team their first Superbowl. Or makes his first friend in life. Or sees sunlight for the first time in 3 years.

Shiny Ponyta = a troll Pokemon. And by troll Pokemon, I mean just that - the developers of the game intentionally added this rare, almost impossible find Pokemon to their game, to troll the gamers. They developed an almost glitch like feature - a shiny version of Pokemon - that has astronomically grim odds of ever being encountered. I assume this is to ensure the people playing their games NEVER lose their virginity, so that their bloodline will die out. Shiny Ponytas were made for the betterment of the species.


Maybe these game developers are sick of making new Pokemon games, and having to create 150 new shitty monsters every other year, so they're hoping by keeping their fans virgins, they can eventually start developing a new game they can actually enjoy making. Hell, they're even running out of colors to use.


So they created this glitch - shiny Pokemon - to ensure the fans of this franchise waste all their time using 3 GameBoy systems simultaneously in hopes of stumbling upon this rare variation of Pokemon. Instead of having sex and creating lame offspring that will further dilute the gene pool of our species.

This particular kid apparently forced 25,968 Pokemon out of a small section of tall grass in hopes of finding a 'Shiny Ponyta." This is presumably the most rare form of Shiny Pokemon, judging from his highly irritating reaction to finding one. His older brother taught him well, apparently....


What a little bitch. Where the fuck is this kids father? Hell, if that was my kid, I think I'd be even more disappointed he made this video and posted it online than I would when I found out he was gay.


I don't think this sort of reaction should be necessary of ANY accomplishment, in ANY situation.

You just had a threesome with Olivia Munn and pre-pregnancy Jessica Alba, you say? And they didn't even make you wear a condom?
Don't act like a faggot, dude, screaming like a little girl isn't gonna get you back in their pants again. Act indifferent like a boss so you can hopefully arrange a second threesome. Or just use your time machine and do it again. (Because, considering this is per-preganancy Jessica Alba, one would need the time machine to arrange this threesome in the first place.)

You just hit $5,000 a week for life from Publishers Clearing House?
Don't scream in their face like this little bitch did, they might realize how much of a jackass you are and decide to give the money to someone else that'll put it to good use instead of buying thousands of dollars of Pokemon merchandise every week. What a shitty way to run out the clock of your life - devoting it to Pokemon.


You just received news the Illuminati has failed, the New World Order has crumbled, and that the people covertly running the world have all commit suicide together after finally becoming self-aware and feeling the crippling guilt of fucking over our entire planet?
Why would you act like a little bitch now? This would be a time for celebration! Lines of yak off 18 year old Latina titties. Shot after shot of the finest bourbon. Fat cross joints and bongs for all!

You just ripped a guitar solo while snowboarding down Mt Everest, several groupies clinging to your legs, as you fight off robot pirates from the future, and survive with all groupies in-tact?
Get laid, you pussy, and remember not to start screaming "I FINALLY FOUND IT!" when you hit the girls G-Spot.

It's difficult to comprehend some one getting as excited as this kid did. He was smart enough to disable comments on his video, but that didn't stop him from name-dropping his "Supporters." I think his "Supporters" are actually trolls ensuring, just like the people developing the games, that this little asshat never reproduces. So they send him encouragement through Youtube, to see how fucking stupid this little prick is, to see HOW MUCH TIME he will waste on finding his Shiny Ponyta.

It is almost a humanitarian effort in itself to beat people like this kid until they are left bloody and bruised, sobbing and rethinking their purpose in life. It is this exact type of person that is the downfall of society. I don't even care how old this little shithead is, he deserves several swift kicks to the face. He NEEDS it if he ever hopes to accomplish more in life than just catching shiny Pokemon.

Imagine this kids reaction if the gameboys had ran out of battery? Or he dropped them and they shattered before he could catch the Pokemon? Or the Shiny Ponyta got away? Or he accidentally killed it before having a chance to catch it? Now THAT is the video I wish this was. I don't wanna see this little bitch elated...I wanna see his hopes and dreams crushed, I wanna see him crying the tears of failure, knowing full-well he wasted full days of his life and still failed.

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