Sunday, August 26, 2012

RIP, Neil Armstrong

Whether or not the moon landing is a hoax, I feel that Neil Armstrong deserves our respect. Neil is either the first man on the moon, quite the respectable and bad-ass feat....or he is the greatest actor of all-time for concealing the moon-landing hoax for so long. Kudos to either your bravery or to your cunning, Neil. May you rest in peace.

I don't really fall on either side of the "moon landing hoax" debate. Why is that, you may ask? Especially considering how much conspiracy junk I've ingested in the past few years? Well, it's because it is inconsequential to me whether we actually landed on the moon or not. Landing on the moon hasn't done jack-shit for us as a civilization in over 30 years, has it? At least, nothing NASA has felt the need to tell us average folk.

I'd actually prefer that we didn't land on the moon, and that it was some sort of elaborate hoax. Again, you must be left in a state of wonderment with yet another statement I've chosen to make....."Why would this arrogant prick prefer NASA be lying to the masses?" Well, let's look at this logically...

The first moon landing happened in 1969. What technological gains has this yielded, if it did indeed happen? It seems like the only thing the US was trying to gain when they sent up Neil and Buzz to our closest orbiting celestial friend, their only intention was to show-off how the figurative cock and balls of US was bigger and more robust than Russia's figurative chode. That's all it was...a punchline to the joke Russia was the subject of.

We weren't looking for extraterrestrial life....we weren't looking to colonize the moon....we weren't trying to do anything but out-perform Russia in a childish, immature, unnecessary display of superiority.

It's been over 30 goddamn years since the "small step for man, one giant leap for mankind...and one giant cock-block for Soviet Russia's confidence and self-image." And what has landing on the moon gained us? Has the moon landing really only yielded dozens of shitty conspiracy documentaries to watch to kill time, and a corny, over-used quote? (And the means with which for me to crap out a quick article before I play some more Red Dead Redemption before I pass out at 10 so I can get up for work at 5 tomorrow?)

Has the advancement of our technology really stagnated that much?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying we haven't moved forward as a species. What with the internet, cell-phones, and other means of communication. I'm just saying...

...if we actually landed on the moon in '69, shouldn't we have a more logical means of transportation by now for the people ON the planet? Traveling through space and landing on a celestial body, even one as "close" as the moon, seems like a much, much larger hurdle to leap than inventing a new means of cost-effective, environment friendly transportation for the rest of know, the 99.999999999% of us that aren't astronauts and don't plan on traveling to space any time soon.

It's seems like the only advancements in technology made in the past few decades, have been advancements to strip the intelligence of the average folk, to give us unnecessary luxuries....basically to keep us distracted and in a state of ignorant bliss so that the advancement of our species can be stifled for a small, wealthy elite to live like kings, laughing down at us from their figurative thrones as we toil in the dirt to further their monetary gains.

Ever see how the future is depicted in shit from the 1950's?

Or how about the 1960's?

 Or we could just skip ahead to the 1980's?

 Unfortunately, I think Idiocracy came the closest to hitting the nail on the head, all the way in 2006....


Depressingly accurate, ain't it? I mean, shouldn't we be flying around in hover cars, by now? Shouldn't we have settlements on Mars, and three-titted bitches like in Total Recal? Shouldn't the average IQ be on a steady incline, instead of dropping at exponential rates? Shouldn't we be moving forward, not bombing the piss out of each other and trying to claim intellectual superiority over anyone else from a different side of the planet, over anyone else with a different shade of skin color or anyone raised in a different cultural background? No, we shouldn't?

Ok, maybe the moon landing DID happen, and all these great advancements of technology are being hidden from the general populace to keep the cash flowing to a particular set of corporate entities. Or perhaps all the processed food is finally warping everyone's minds, all the social conditioning is working too well, causing stupidity, cockiness, and social status to take precedence over intellect, kinsman-ship, and loyalty.

Or perhaps my standards for the species were too high, we DID land on the moon, and just haven't done jack-shit since then. Oh least music recording technology has increased in ways that allow me to record a 100+ track song, completely solo, with a full orchestra accompaniment, in the comfort of my own home, with the simple touch of a keyboard, strum of a guitar, and slap of the bass.

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