Thursday, June 14, 2012

Sometimes I Get a Good Feeling

The world could use another few hundred musicians, composers, and music producers using the vocal sample of Etta James "Something's Got a Hold On Me." It never gets old. EVER. I could hear it for hours daily and never grow tired of it. "Finally Moving" was just the beginning. Don't know what vocal sample I'm talking about? Here's a list of examples:

Here's a second list. This is a list of songs, bands, situations, and artists that would highly benefit in implementing this sample in the most over-powering fashion possible.
  1. Slayer - "Reign in Blood" Reign in Blood is supposed to be this brutal, speed / thrash metal classic. But it's clearly lacking in the "Good Feelings" department.
  2. Pantera - Everything Post Power Metal Sorry, Pantera fans, I could never get into the cookie cutter "groove metal" meets nu-metal that Pantera regurgitated, album after album. The most blatant offender in their discography is clearly "Walk" - what a train wreck of a song that was. I actually prefer their first four albums. That's right, the cheesy and effortless 80's metal Pantera is way more endearing than the "we try so hard to sound bad-ass" shit they released Cowboys From Hell onward. Which is why those Pantera songs could benefit from the tender vocal caress of "Oh, oh...sometimes - I get a good feeling, yeah." It's like pot, it makes everything better.
  3. Symphony X - "The Odyssey" In the song, after Odysseus finally makes it home and kills all the intruding douche bags trying to get in on some of that sweet, sweet Penelope trim, Symphony X treats us to a reprise of "Journey to Ithaca," bringing the song full circle at the conclusion of Odysseus's journey and redemption. But who needs to hear that again, really? Instead of reprising their earlier acoustic guitar and vocal hook, Symphony X should've dropped a generic drumbeat and sampled some good feelings all over that outro. Then maybe they could've made a gnarly mash-up playing the hooks in "Champion of Ithaca" and "Good Feeling" off each other.
  4. King Diamond, Brian Johnson, and Rob Halford - All of their vocals Who wants to listen to glass-shattering falsetto nowadays? That shit isn't metal, we all know guttural screams, hardcore breakdowns, and awkwardly complex yet soulless math rock riffs are the definition of metal. King Diamond, Brian Johnson of AC/DC, and Rob Halford of Judas Priest should just retire at this point. OR, they could always replace their microphones with laptops and start sampling "Got a Good Feeling." Over and over again. On every song. From "Back in Black" to "Abigail" to "The Sentinel", all three bands need some more good feelings. It could be its own new sub-genre of metal.
  5. Richard Wagner - "Ride of the Valkyries" It hasn't aged too well, unfortunately. If only Richard Wagner could have traveled to the future and had a pow-wow with Etta, or perhaps took some shots with Pretty Lights, then went back in time to the 1800's, back to his time, and brought that timeless hook back with him. He could've ingrained it into culture a good century before it's original inception. Instead of blues, funk, jazz, metal, emo, country, punk, rap, hip hop, we could have variations of "Sometimes I get a good feeling." Perhaps start changing the instrumentation, tempo, and key. And later, to keep it fresh and innovative, musicians would start putting the words out of order. "Get, no...a sometimes never, feeling yeah no, never, never, before had good."
  6. DJ Sets - Every DJ in existence needs to use this sample a minimum of 3 dozen times, in any given performance. Should a DJ ignore this rule, omit the sample from their performance, and get busted using the vocal loop, they shall be forced to 5 hours in an alligator pit, wearing nothing but the still warm flesh of recently hunted muskrats and raccoons. If no alligator pits exist, the construction of one will begin immediately the following business day, at the DJs expense.
  7. Movie Trailers Every movie trailer ever made, from this point on, should only be authorized to air if a sample of this song is being used. A good example / archetype for this usage is displayed in upcoming Disney flick "Wreck it Ralph," which I posted above.
  8. Video Game Trailers Every video game trailer ever made, from this point on, should only be authorized to air if a sample of this song is being used. A good example / archetype for this usage is displayed in upcoming WII video game "Just Dance 4," which I posted above.
  9. Rocky Training Montages In all 6 of the Rocky movies, all the training montages should be one of the variations that use this sample. In fact, all the music in the movies should be replaced by some kind of use of this vocal sample. It certainly would have made Rocky 5 a more watchable movie, with his shitty son and shitty protege. The street fight at the end of that movie should have been between his Tommy Gunn and his shitty son.
  10. Star Wars (film scores) John Williams scores, though timeless, aren't actually timeless. Not anymore. Not since people starting sampling the infamous Etta James vocal hook.  
  11. During Sex What better soundtrack to slang some D, pop some Cs and split shaved Vs to?
  12. In Public Places Fuck that lounge music bullshit. This track should follow everyone everywhere, from the background of Weather reports, to elevators, to malls, to doctors offices, and even at the dentist. If this track played at the dentist all day every day, I'd get a tooth pulled every other day.

In fact, this hook is SO GOOD I'm gonna make yet another list for this article. People get all horny for these stupid list articles these days, right? Here's a third one for ya. This is a list of people I would love to hear do either a spoken-word cover or an acapella of the track:
  1. Christopher Walken
  2. William Shatner
  3. Samuel L Jackson
  4. Adam West
  5. Tiny Tim
  6. Meat Loaf
  7. "Jon" from Delocated
  8. Missy Elliot
  9. Gilbert Gottfried
  10. Jack Black
  11. Janis Joplin 
  12. Trey Parker
  13. Metalocalypse characters
  14. Nicky Minaj
  15. A chorus of hot underaged girls from the Disney Channel
  16. ALL of the various "movie trailer voice" guys
  17. The pirate from Spongebob Squarepants
  18. Will Ferrel as Ashly Schaeffer
  19. Will Ferrel as Ron Burgundy
  20. Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys
  21. Is this starting to piss you off yet?
  22. Good.

Etta James is all like, "A feeling that I never, never, never knew I had before." But apparently so many other have been inspired to rehash her words, again and again, that they KNEW they would have that feeling. Etta WARNED THEM about their impending feeling. The constant reuse, re-sampling, and rehashing of her work would imply that they know that feel, Miss James....they know that feel, bro.

We ALL know that feel...

1 comment:

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