Friday, May 11, 2012

More Tits, Less Stupidity


This simple equation, coupled with the legalization of hemp, would not only make the world a better place, but actually save it from destruction, stopping the impending apocalypse dead in its tracks.

But then again fuck that, because drugs are bad! (With the exception of all the pills being sold by Big Pharma. Ritalin and adderall are FINE for your 1st grader, it will calm them down and help them study! But pot, a substance safer than water and peanuts, is NOT acceptable, apparently.) And sex? Oh boy, sex is even worse. (Besides all the advertising both demonizing sex, and capitalizing on this bastardized portrayal of it. Let's not look at it as the single act that ensures the longevity and survival of our species, no, let's use it as a marketing gimmick and then bash people over the head with clueless morals when they try to actually indulge in it.)

The news never fails to simultaneously amuse and anger me. It's not exactly an unexpected phenomena, considering how the clueless masses latch onto the medias balls, time and time again, as these poor excuses of journalists continually rehash pointless bullshit like the Tanning Mom story
and bullshit personal issues like Casey Anthony and Trayvon Martin. But the sheep lap it up time and again, like a dog licking the peanut butter out of some lonely, fat, teenaged girls quivering twat, ignoring the smell of the mental yeast infection stories like this are wafting into the collective subconscious.

What do titties and substance-void, hack journalism have in common, you may be asking?


4.7k recommended this on Facebook? God fucking dammit, its a never ending downward-spiral into mediocrity with you people, isn't it? Society isn't just dipping its toes in mediocrity anymore, and it's even past the point of bathing and drinking it...they're now injecting mediocrity between the toes and into their eye-balls. Society has a constant drip in its arm, an IV filled with liquid stupidity.

It's BREAST-FEEDING. GET THE FUCK OVER IT YOU CLUELESS, WORTHLESS SHEEP FUCKS!

All the issues that have any precedence on our future, all the issues that hold any weight or importance, are either completely ignored or grouped in with "conspiracy theories." And instead of expanding our consciousness and debating these issues, issues with actual long-term effects, we're instead expected to vehemently dispute our side of the 'public breast feeding' argument.

IT'S FUCKING BOOBS. BOOBS! BIG DEAL.


If anything, the world would benefit from MORE titties, maybe people will actually open their eyes.

No, Yahoo, Time didn't go too far with the cover. And if they did, you just did the same thing, with bonus points of shittiness for stealing their idea instead of finding a different pair of tits.

My first initial thought was "...nice." Followed shortly after by, "Damn I wish I could switch places with that kid. He could even take his little stepping stool with him, I wouldn't even need that shit." My third thought was "Oh snap, her right nipple is perky. Shit could cut through sheet metal."

And just look at that smug little bastard. Look at his face. He's definitely proud of himself. He doesn't know why, it's not a sexual thing, but titties just feel good in his mouth, its a natural instinct.

I can imagine the photographer telling them to pose for this picture. "Ok, Billy, I want you to MOCK the readers with your face. Your face has to scream 'FUCK YOU' to anyone that sees it. PERFECT. Hold that-"

Which brings me to my fourth thought. "That's....kinda creepy." The mom is a MILF, no doubt. It's not like they'd hire an unattractive model for the cover, it wouldn't be nearly as controversial. It wouldn't be as eye-catching if the mom in question didn't cause the passerby to at least casually stiffen/moisten, so said passerby wouldn't purchase it. But either way, despite hotness of the MILF in question, the picture is just creepy. They're both boldly staring into the camera, the mothers hand defiantly placed on her hip, the kids hands covering his toddler boner.

And don't kid yourself, Time isn't trying to provide an interesting and unique insight into breast-feeding for its reader. Because breast-feeding just isn't exactly an introspective process. It's pretty cut and dry....er, cut and wet.


Sure, we've evolved to the point of wearing shoes and playing shitty games on our Iphones. But considering we haven't cured cancer, colonized mars, or focused on anything in the news other than sex or violence since the invention of the television, we aren't that far off from animals, are we?


So that means TIME printed this article with the sole intent to make money off stirring contrived controversy, disguising it as an honest piece of journalism. Lazy pieces of shit. But thanks for the rant fodder, TIME and Yahoo. I really wanted to get that Freemason article off the top of the page before I start getting followed around by creepy cars whenever I left the house.

4 comments:

  1. the bitch has a 5 year old pet niglet too.her future rapist.dirty bitch

    ReplyDelete
  2. The mom, that is, not the 5 year old

    ReplyDelete
  3. You could be qualified to receive a Apple iPhone 7.

    ReplyDelete

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