Thursday, April 19, 2012

This blog is about RAPE....

Hold on now, I know what you're thinking. "RAPE?! I'm offended, good sir. You've fully aroused my anger!" You didn't let me finish, chief.
(And maybe try rewording that phrase, you're practically raping the language.)


See? No reason to get upset. I was only talking about verbal rape. It's even less offensive than figurative rape. What do you mean, I never classified it as being verbal? That's because you didn't let me FINISH. "VERBAL" was implied, because websites cannot rape you.
At least not psychically.

What about raping a corpse? The corpse is dead, is rape funny in that circumstance? What happens if the corpse isn't a personal friend, work associate, or mutual acquaintance, someone you've NEVER MET. I'm talking, like, someone dug up from the Civil War? Hell, they could  even still be in their uniform and everything. I got it! You can have a black man raping said Civil War corpse, that of a confederate soldier, so it'll technically be justified rape.

Ok, I guess rape can't be got me. My bad. 

And kidnapping isn't funny either.

And the implication of such things is certainly not funny.

Ya know what, this blog IS about rape. I just shoehorned my own half-assed, 5 month old Mario Memes into a terribly unfunny blog entry that fails at even coming close to making rape funny. You may unfasten your safety belts, folks. We've come full circle and still no laughs. Or perhaps I should say....
 ........rapety belts?

Man, they really oughta call that the 'RAPE horn'

Well if you don't want to be verbally raped, I can completely understand, forget everything you've read so far, forget I ever used 'RAPE' in such a disrespectful manner, I know now that RAPE is something to be both feared and respected. To ridicule rape is apparently disrespectful to rapists (and their victims) everywhere.

So now that we've got past the insensitive remarks, how's about letting my first ever Complextro track rape your ear-drums oh-so-sweetly? Don't worry, it's not gonna be a brutal, viscous, or forced'll be, like, FRIENDLY rape. You know.......CUTE rape.

It won't be HATE rape, it'll be LOVE rape 
Or TENDER rape, if you will.

I'm totally sorry to anyone who has actually been raped. You probably shouldn't read this particular update to my blog. Just to warn you, you might get offended reading this!

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If you should strike me down I will become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.